Estrangement Lessons: Why I Had to Break up With My Mother
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This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions is deeply personal. In it, I share the story of breaking up with my mother nearly two years ago, exploring both the immediate events that led to that decision and the lifelong patterns that made it necessary. I dig into why it took until age 45 to make this choice, how I’ve navigated the aftermath, and why stepping away from certain relationships – even with parents – can sometimes be the most loving choice for everyone involved.

IN THIS EPISODE…

  • Breaking up with a parent isn’t about a single moment, but the culmination of a lifetime of experiences. Sometimes it takes decades to reach this decision, and that’s okay. We make these choices when we’re ready, not when others think we should. The timing is unique to each person’s journey.
  • When dealing with an emotionally immature or abusive parent, their lack of remorse or self-reflection can be startling. Recognising that they may never feel genuine remorse for their actions – and may even justify them – is often a crucial turning point in deciding to step away.
  • The ‘Other Mother’ experience differs vastly from societal portrayals of motherhood. Many of us have mothers who don’t fit the Hallmark image. They may be jealous, possessive, emotionally manipulative, or engage in parentification. Acknowledging this reality helps release the shame of not having a ‘typical’ mother.
  • Distancing and boundaries can help manage difficult relationships, but they don’t transform people who fundamentally lack respect for those boundaries. At some point, we may need to accept that no amount of effort or ‘boundary-setting’ will create the healthy relationship we desire.
  • Stepping away from a parent doesn’t mean you don’t care. You can care for and love your parent and also know you care enough about yourself to stop participating in a dynamic that harms you. It’s possible to feel both grief and peace, to know it’s the right decision while still processing the loss of what could have been.

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The post Estrangement Lessons: Why I Had to Break up With My Mother appeared first on Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue.

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